I am actually quite tired of people complaining about how hard it is to raise a daughter in a world full of Disney princesses. Where companies strive for “equality” in silly things like toys and books, but still make them in pastels and glitter, because at the end of the day, that’s what appeals to us girls. But at the end of the day, it really does appeal to some of us girls. I like pink. I like sparkly things. I like glitter and pastels and soft, fluffy, squishy animals! I like to use my imagination. I like to day dream. I like the possibility of being anything I want to be. And I am not a young girl, but those things have always appealed to me and I am actually quite thankful they still do.
We are a very “big” Disney family. We live close enough that we are able to drive to the Happiest Place on Earth at least twice a year and we are lucky enough to be able to budget and not bring home a car full of nonsense. We actually do let the kids pick out one or two small items that earn by doing things around the house but other than that, we don’t do big costumes or getting make-up done, the treat is getting to go. My kids have already been to Disneyland more times than most kids. It’s our “thing”. It’s what we do. They know all the characters, they know all the rides (even the ones they are not tall enough for) and they can probably make their way around the park as well as I can at this point. You would think Disney would have lost some of its magic for them, but it hasn’t. My kids still have the sparkle in their eye when we talk about all things Disney and they are just as excited for our next visit as they were for our last.
I have always been a fan of Disney’s princesses as well as Barbie, and in all honesty, I have never fit the “perfect profile” so many associate with both. I love the idea of Barbie, that she can be anything she wants to be. I understand that people feel she sets a bad body image standard, but when I look at Barbie, I don’t see a person, I see a doll, something to take my imagination, even as near 40 years old, to new places. I have about 2 dozen Barbie’s that line my sewing room, because they are pretty and make me think pretty thoughts, they inspire me to be creative. Barbie, for me, was more than just a fashion doll. I never looked at her in a way that made me think her shape was what I needed to look like. I don’t even wear make-up and rarely do my hair. Barbie was never my idol, she was never my inspiration for my self image. She was a doll. When I was younger, Barbie went on missions with G.I. Joe. She ran a shop that I “created” using her dream house. She mostly was just a friend, she would “talk” and “hang out”, and she just liked to be around. I wasn’t growing up to be Barbie, Barbie was played with as an image of myself. Barbie strives to be ME.
As far as Disney’s Princesses, many have truly wonderful qualities that I have used to remind my two girls (ages 3 and 5) what a princess really is. She does not have to be the fragile girl waiting to be saved, she can be smart and look past people’s outer appearance, like Belle. She can be hard working and forgiving, like Cinderella. She can be confused and find who she is by believing in herself, like Mulan. Snow White teaches to be gentle and kind, she is the fairest because of her inner beauty. I really could go on-and-on, but obviously Disney has caught on to making more independent princesses with the additions of Merida and Elsa, who don’t need to fall in love with a prince to find their happiness. My choice is to look past the gowns, hair and make-up and to focus on the inner qualities of the characters themselves. These stories were not created with the idea that we would all someday “meet Prince Charming and ride off into the sunset.” The stories of the princesses, the fairy tales, are lessons about morals and human emotions, what we chose to take from those stories should be more than just the fluff that makes them pretty. I chose to find the princesses inspiring and to teach my girls proper manners and morals based on the best qualities of those princesses. What better example of bullying do you need than Cinderella’s sisters? Cinderella does not act rudely towards her step-sisters or step-mother, she is kind and humble, even when it must have been very difficult.
Here’s the thing, my parents didn’t “teach” me to look at things in any particular way. Like so many others, we had rough patches, and I’m sure I could have taken those bad times and spun them into all kinds of nightmarish thoughts, but what would that get me at the end of the day? From a young age, I knew that in this world, your cup is either half full or half empty, and I was blessed to be optimistic. My glass isn’t half full, it’s half full of pink glitter!
There are some amazing companies out there that are trying to “re-train” society with the “girls can do what boys can do” theme, and that’s great! I don’t see as many companies returning the favor when it comes to boys, and that is a bit disheartening, but I’ll do my own part to teach the boys in my life about the magic of a little pink glitter. The bottom line is, it’s not about what my kids can do in comparison to other children, it’s about finding their own inspiration, growing it, and running with it as fast and as far as they can. Perhaps my daughter is more into blue dirt than pink glitter, I’m cool with that, as long as her glass is always half full.
Be cool!
Kneading, Reading, Streaming